“Blundo illuminates life’s littlest absurdities but also its greatest joys and griefs, and he does it in half the words it would take other writers. If the writing game were Name That Tune, Joe would be a returning champion. A man of few words, Joe Blundo speaks volumes.” —Ted Decker
Joe Blundo began his writing career at the Columbus Dispatch in 1978 and has been writing about Columbus ever since. In 1997, Joe was given his own column titled “So to Speak,” which quickly became one of the most popular sections of the paper. Raccoon dinners, Abe Lincoln impersonators, and things in nature that aren’t fair are just a few of the topics Blundo explores in this collection of the best of his newspaper columns. The columns range from hilarious to poignant to indignant—but all contain his unique voice and somewhat tilted way of looking at life. He’s especially drawn to the quirks that make Columbus what it is, people with a passion they can’t stop talking about, and recording the milestones in his family’s life. Sometimes he spouts off on the big issues of the day but more often he looks for the little things that others might not notice.
Joe Blundo has won legions of fans in the Columbus area with his long-running column for the Columbus Dispatch. He is the 2002 recipient of the humor writing award from the National Society of Newspaper Columnists.
Contents
Foreword
Ted Decker
Acknowledgments
Introduction
Hello, Columbus
See Statehouse with less cynicism: Go with children
Their child is a nut but they’re proud
Ghost tales more kooky than spooky
The flakes that drive Columbus into a frenzy
Rap alert: Don’t mess with UA playa
State fair always make a strong impression
Meat guys: Can we at least get a butt?
Rail-splitting personalities turn heads in capital city
High hopes among fans put OSU on fire watch
Creatures of the night realize worst fear
Greatest ape of our zoo just as he imagined
Ohio State obsession too much for this Ana
A fair history that’s deep-fried in absurdity
After ‘Oval,’ OSU has plenty more to trademark
The Last Jedi, with a touch of Buckeye
Family Matters
Family life gives him right stuff for high court
Area dad survives anonymous daughter’s first dance
Father’s Day: A proclamation
When son becomes a man, dad still frets
Poodle puts stamp of approval on park
Farewell to Mickey, the memorable poodle
It’s time for daughter to fly the nest
Les was much more than a father-in-law
Bad break had its good results
Dancing might not make him a star
A son’s wedding, a dad’s blessings
‘Mom’ was more than a mother-in-law
New graduate gets herself noticed
Turning 60 a chance to deny, deny, deny
Grandpa celebrating 7 pounds of hope
On the Scene
He flies through the air with the greatest unease
Pot roast no match for delicacy of Danville
He came, he saw, he sculpted an orange fish
Close shave pampers plebian like a king
Ride in $2 million Bugatti leaves him bug-eyed
Volunteers gain different image of Cleveland
He’s getting a big head—with government’s OK
Folk Studies
Prognosis put things in perspective
Nature artist has a personal paradise
For couple, wedding bliss extends 75 years
He’s the master of gourdian knots
Cobbler hangs on as City Center tumbles
No one storms the Castle without her permission
When Angel performs, he wings it
Mike Harden had a way with words
Shelter supervisor had her own troubles
Big top beckons king of calliope
Ride home led to love of lifetime
Auditor shows ardor for precision
Handmade guitars strike emotional chord
John and Annie Glenn continue journey together
He finds peace in birds, baseballs and breadboxes
Lifelong teacher educates about her Alzheimer’s
Pigs become camera hogs for tray of cake mix
Aminah Robinson at 75
After 70 years, couple still clicks
Hotel guests register his name, face, mantra
Fair chance is all that acts seek
Robby made Sunday mornings bright
Dr. Shine adds gleam to airport wingtips
Arena holds sad memory of the father they loved
Irish teens team up to puzzle over baseball
Flag represents price paid by MIA/POW families
Unscientific Observations
Your brain isn’t ready to organize everything
We ought to beware of auto autonomy
Media’s take on summer: heat, germs and sharks
Hey, nature: We deserve some justice
These teams in a league of their own
Merry tunes best ignored in dating
iPhone does so much more than you thought
Nature hasn’t been that kind
Brawny dino in a class by itself
Italian app leads to strange statements
Alternatives to roses a bit thorny
Without nicknames, weather just gray
When pot is legal here, it will need cool names
Boomers hold tight to labels of youth
LA: The city into which we all fit
He can’t stash or trash his clutter
Evolutions warns us: Run for your life
Ohio critters boast talents worthy of TV
What goes around (sniff), comes around
Stereotypes explain little about people in the workplace
The bad romantic advice in Christmas carols
Smart toilet sounds like a dumb idea
Had to Say It
Laureates need songs powered by Dylan
Kids’ tales reimagined for the world we know now
President haunted by job advice in spirited tale
Tragedy in Orlando distilled in novel way
Not every congress can take a long break
America is changing its tune
Richard III returns but he’s living on Bard time
Pope walks a mile in Armani dress shoes
It’s time we truly put kids first
Modest Proposals
How to avoid topical heat on the holiday
Graduates, it’s time to get real
Let’s create websites that reduce connections
Fiery bolt from above inspires religious theories
He thinks we need edgy veggies
Better elections just nine rules away
About the Author
